Now this is where it gets complicated. Why? Because we started to shoot out of sequence, that’s why…

Episode 5: Looking forward to…

This was supposed to be an easy episode. In fact, it was supposed to be the throwaway, edited quickly, filler episode between other episodes – hell, it was practically supposed to be a clip show. (Hmm. Could I do a clip show? Very possibly….)

Brief was simple; loads of people who are going to the Games Convention telling us what they’re most looking forward to. In one word. Or one sentence. Or one paragraph just please don’t monopolise the camera as there are others who need to be part of this thing thank you.

So I gave the camera to Spaff and off he went. On his first pass, when I downloaded the footage, I couldn’t help but notice something.

“Why… is Volker on the toilet?”

“He’s just sitting on it. He’s not really.. you know.”

Sure enough, he wasn’t. He was sitting, but not sh… you get the idea. But hey, that would make for good comedy, so bless ‘im, in he went to the rough cut.

First pass wasn’t enough though. Too many people rambling on camera, not enough good answers. So off Spaff went again, looking for more people; amazingly he didn’t even film everyone who’s going to GC (not even close). I knew I had enough material for a decent roundup though, so I started to cut.

I wanted a kind of upbeat, jangly, country style of track to go underneath the visuals; don’t ask me why. I just figured some brooding piece wouldn’t work, and I didn’t want some overused advert track that we’d all recognise. The track popped into my head near instantly – Western Skies, by Canadian country-rock group Blue Rodeo. I knew it had the right beginning, and a number of pauses that’d make editing to it quite easy.

Oh, how wrong I was. The problem with editing to a music track is that the beats start to obsess you. You think you’re cutting to them – but you aren’t, not always. Are you cutting to the beginning of the drum beat, when the stick hits the skin, or the end, when the sound sort of… reaches you? These things can drive you a little crazy.

After a few hours of work, however, I at least had what I thought was a serviceable beginning. I just knew this wasn’t a quick-and-easy filler project any more, though.

Luckily, I got saved by Marek. Having given us a pure comedy answer to work around (“Leipzig…? What?”) I started to build around that, and got inspired to add in the back-and-forth between the subtitles and what people were saying. When I noticed Jörg’s comedy eyebrows, that helped even more suddenly I had plenty to work with, and cutting it was just a matter of time.

With that done, it was on to the next one. Which wasn’t actually the next one. But just to ease confusion, let’s talk about the next one anyway…

Episode 6: Costume Competition Auditions

This was about where things started to get crazy. I mean, Episode 4 had been longer than the others, but this one was downright ambitious by comparison. We had props, we had costumes, we had a rap planned. I had no idea what I was walking into with this episode… although it got much, much worse later.

We shot this on a Wednesday, edited it on a Thursday and released on Friday, which is a crazy schedule, and just proof of how much I wanted it to happen. The original impetus to do this episode was Martin’s, who even came up with a script involving Solid Snake, Hiro and the Bling Gnome… James and I read it over though, and decided we could beef it up a bit. As we’d done a sort-of audition thing with Setting the Stage, we decided to go all-out with episode 6.

The script was pretty much a mish-mash of different ideas thrown in by just about everyone, including some that came together during the shoot, and others during the edit. The basic structure and many of the lines were mine, including The Shark (You gotta love continuity gags), Jörg’s desire to wear the Ghost Widow outfit, GenericHero235 and the Bling Gnome doing a rap – although full credit to James, he can rhyme and I can’t, so he handled the lyrics. (Well, with the possible exception of ‘street’ and ‘excrete’, which was mine.)

One thing I will say about the script is that it has – to date, considering we’re not finished yet – my favourite line of the entire series, which is The Shark’s aborted origin, “Born of fish and man…”. It helps that Martin’s delivery of it reduced me to helpless, take-destroying laughter on more than one occasion. You’ll hear that on the (eventual) Blooper Reel.

As you’ll see, we ended up remarkably close to the written word. Feel free to read along:

Download: Quest for GC Episode 6 script

As normal, we shot out of sequence for this, starting off with filming all of the audition stuff. It was a fast shoot in a timeslot in the middle of the day, taking over a much-needed meeting room, so we were against the clock on it. Jörg came in first, doing his bit in a bath towel (somehow, we forgot the furry cape; the towel was funnier) and then, after a few fluffs, his Ghost Widow piece. Honestly, beyond that I can’t remember the order we shot in, so here’s just a few thoughts from each bit.

Martin, as The Shark, had been thinking about how to do this for a while and was raring to go when we filmed. The ‘helmet’ he wore was brilliantly constructed by Chris that morning, and probably sold the gag more than I ever expected. I started laughing the minute I saw Martin walk into frame with it on. Then when he did the lines, I literally had to stop filming I was laughing so hard. More than one take spoiled there….

Alex actually suggested the “But I do have a knife” line, which was better than my original; he’s always up for terrible Australian gags, it seems.

Loic also had loads of ideas for his GenericHero235 thing, but most involved props (and time) we didn’t have, so all we ended up doing was his entrance, which was priceless. He did the jump you see in the final film on the first take, and the framing (by accident) was so perfect, I didn’t see any need to do it again. Unfortunately, he then took about ten takes to get his lines right, so that balanced things out….

The Orange Box isn’t a reference to Valve. It’s actually the real writing and design seen on the infamous boxes in Metal Gear Solid, which is of course what we were referring to in the ‘exclamation point’ shot. Tom Kiss made the box, which actually only started with three (of, I guess, five) sides, but was subtly positioned so you couldn’t see the missing sides. Oh, and that’s Tom’s eyes, too. By the time you read this you’ll have seen Tom front and centre in Episode 8.

Volker, of course, stole the show as the Bling Gnome. We came up with a lot of stuff on the day for him; walking in on his knees, taking the microphone, even the entrance. A lot more got added in the edit which wasn’t in the script, either. To make the rap work we had Volker do the audio a few times, and then shot lots of ‘coverage’ of him doing lines which I then cut together. The only problem was, he kept forgetting what the lyrics were, which we covered (a bit) by having him hold the microphone in front of his face.

As for James and I, we were of course consummate professionals, getting everything in one take… ahem… well, I’ll save some surprises for the blooper reel. As you’ll see from the script, us dancing at the end wasn’t scripted – I wouldn’t script myself to dance!

Post-production on this was a nightmare, although in comparison to later episodes it was almost easy. I actually got all the footage into Final Cut Express that day, as I recall, and started to hack away. What I figured out early on was that (a) I was going to need music and (b) that Volker’s rap was going to be near-impossible to edit.

By Thursday morning I had a workable Bling Gnome rap, basically made up of the few takes I could actually match in speed and recognisable lip movements, and with plenty of gaps between. Thank God for our dancing stuff, which I could easily slip in-between. By the end of that edit I had a lot more respect for music video editors; so much footage must be shot just so that you can get that fast-cutting style. I also found that stupid transitions can cover up some sins, too….

The next step was pasting over some cracks with music. Luckily, Chris is a huge music fan (and a composer, to boot) so he slapped together some clever cues that play under Martin and Loic’s respective entrances, and really helped to sell the gags I think.

There’s actually quite a lot of clever editing in this one too, although you wouldn’t/shouldn’t know it. That’s kind of the point. But I know it’s there, and I’m proud of it.

Six episodes down. Potentially, eight to go. Did I make it? Right now even I don’t know….