Oooh, touchy feely feelings.
Alright, I’m not going to induce a gag reflex – at least I hope not. I could, but I won’t. Suffice to say since Wednesday at 2:30pm or so, it’s been an emotional rollercoaster, or emo-coaster as I had to abbreviate for the benefit of Twitter.
I’ve been up, I’ve been down. I don’t think I’ve hit the highest or lowest points of the ride just yet – it’s more like little peaks and troughs – although it’s still pretty scary how quick those things are cresting and dipping.
I do want to say that every message, every comment, every tweet, every txt has been very, very welcome. I know this sounds a bit pathetic but I hope they don’t stop coming! The dark days are probably very much ahead of me. Right now I still have things to occupy my brain, and plenty of loose ends to tie up, which is keeping me distracted; heck, it even felt like a normal work day for a while yesterday. While all these things in my brain will hopefully transition into new things to work on and new horizons to travel to, I still think there’s going to be a week or two where in my quiet moments, my mind will quietly scream HELP… so keep your telepathic antennae tuned for me, okay?
Of course, I’m not alone in this. A lot – I mean a lot – of good people are being affected by this, from all over the company. I’m not going to comment further except to say that they all deserve to get new jobs and soon. I’m doing my best to help as many as I can even in a small way, by giving advice, dropping recommendations and in a few special cases, giving out a hug or two. It doesn’t feel like enough.
Anyway! God, can feel myself getting a bit maudlin here, and I don’t want to overdo it… just yet. So instead here’s a goofy picture of me with a cup of coffee, as I’m sure many of you know is my preferred state:
#1 by Zortel at September 12th, 2008
That’s a fun photo there. Part of me wishes to compile some kind of blending image that shifts between all the ones taken at Moksha, but my image manipulation skills aren’t good enough for that.
My secret is optimistic pessimism. You prepare and expect for the worst that can happen to you. Make contingency plans, and just get yourself in the mindset to face any trouble. Meanwhile, you hope and prepare for some of the better things to happen, and how to capitalize on that.
Maybe that’s why I make such insane travel plans covering several routes and diversions. But when the cloud comes, it’s silver lining mining time!
You have Steam? I’ve been considering buying a server for Day of Defeat: Source and Team Fortress 2, along with some other such games. You’d be free to stop by and join in some action if you wished.
#2 by Gangrel at September 12th, 2008
We are here for you…. * GROUP HUG*
#3 by Rockjaw at September 12th, 2008
@ Zortel: Do have Steam at home, but it’s hopelessly out of date. I did buy TF2 – well, the Orange Box – so perhaps I should figure out if my five-year-old PC can handle it. (It could handle HL2 , so in theory… should work.)
Anyway, might take you up on it – although some COH would be more likely. Before you ask: Union.
#4 by Gangrel at September 12th, 2008
Hmmm what more reason do i need to reactivate my account, apart from to team with “Le Rockjaw” (will have to work out the finances though for it though pretty damn fast LOL)
#5 by Extremus at September 12th, 2008
RockjawdoyouwantanArenafight.
Now that’s out of the way if you need any help with material assets on Union; Heroes give me a shout or when you hit Co-Op level.
#6 by Dr.Rock at September 13th, 2008
Long time since I felt the urge to check up on the CoH forums, guess the old spider sense was tingling, I just wish it wasn’t to find such awful news.
CoH had (and still has I assume) a great community and I think a lot of that was down to some great community reps, in my time that was Bridger, yourself and the French and German guys who could have been twins (names escape me).
I always enjoyed your straight talking, on the forums or over a beer.
CoH turned out not to be my MMO tastes, but some people leave an impression, you are one of those guys. When I heard you had moved in to development I did a silent thumbs up, with this news I felt compelled to more vocally wish you and your comrades all the best for the future, and hope that is just the beginning of new and better things.
#7 by Rockjaw at September 13th, 2008
Hey Doc; thanks for the comments and best wishes. (I wish I could put faces to some of these handles, but I’m sure we had a good beer.
)
I actually didn’t move to development – Bridger did – I sort of moved on to upper management. (Maybe I should summarise my career at NCsoft at some point. I guess it’s on LinkedIn, but eh.) Just couldn’t separate me from COH, I guess.
Extremus: Sure thing on an Arena fight. You just know I’ll lose and want bragging rights though, yeah?
#8 by Dr.Rock at September 13th, 2008
I would be totally surprised if you could remember, meet was 2 years ago and a pretty hectic one.
Was a very interesting beer, you were kind enough to give me your view on Cryptic and Marvel getting in to bed (not that it turned out as they expected) and War Witch, who joined a bit later, valiantly fielded a series of questions from people who had been drinking far too long at that point.
Actually thinking about it, it had to be management, that or they kept you caged somewhere to be unleashed on an unsuspecting forum when Bridger was on holiday.
)
*waves to Zortel and hopes she is well*
#9 by Dr.Rock at September 13th, 2008
Whoops missed my old friend Mr Pyrons (Gangrel) there as well, greetings old chap.
#10 by Zortel at September 13th, 2008
Hey Dr. Rock! I am indeed well, thanks for asking. And you? /end-hijack (Though Stephen has got a link to my blog if you were interested in seeing what I’ve been up to.)
Stephen: It’d certainly be interesteing seeing your progression through the classes. Oh, and Union CoH seems good. If we ever get round to it, just ask if you want teaming In Character or not.
#11 by Gangrel at September 13th, 2008
Wow… long time no hear Dr Rock…
Hope that everything is going well, and i shall talk to at some point (i am sure if you poke me with an email address or something like that i will get in touch with you)
And Rockjaw, chin up and all that…..
#12 by Rockjaw at September 13th, 2008
@Zortel: I try to roleplay a bit, really I do, but I often just can’t sustain it while sitting alone at a keyboard. I find it a lot easier face-to-face.
@Gangrel: Chin goes up and down at the moment; been mostly up in the last day or so, but just when I think I’m fine, I go down again. Spending a lot of time with people in the same situation, and that does help, strangely.
#13 by Zortel at September 14th, 2008
Oddly, I’m the other way round. I guess shyness and general uncomfortableness when talking impeedes on tabletop and LARP, plus I tend to find through the internet RP more immersive.
Different strokes!
#14 by Dr.Rock at September 14th, 2008
OT: I went freelance so I could be my own boss (how naive was that) so was normally only one month from redundancy at any time, a scary position with a young family. I also was in the position to see and help with a lot of redundancy, which in one case resulted in lifting the IPR, the team and one of their customers to form a new company. A rewarding experience but not for the faint hearted.
My wisdom on the subject for what it is worth. People that have worked for a company for a long period, are generally to some extent institutionalised. The normal result of this is dented self worth, unrealistic attachment to what they have achieved and an over inflated belief in the importance of the company they work for.
Realistically no company no matter how big is important, whatever you did there is only a means to getting you another (better) job and your talents are probably a lot more marketable than you might think.
The feelings don’t get any better until you have a new direction. For some that is just another job, for others using the opportunity to set a new horizon.
Being a manager the experience is a lot worse, been there and you have my sympathy. That sense of responsibility can be crippling, but people generally bounce a lot better than you might fear.
Roleplay: Text based MUDs, MUAs or MUGs, they were the pinnacle of roleplaying for me. I would agree with Zortel that a level of anonymity adds to the immersion, but I believe graphics of any kind actually limit the imagination in ways text doesn’t.
General: I’m well and will check your blogs out.
#15 by Purp at September 16th, 2008
I’m not really one for message posting, but felt it was required on this occasion.
I just want to say how sorry I am that you and NC have parted company.
There is loads I would like to say about how I think they must eventually realize how big a mistake they are making, things never being the same, how much you guys will be missed (especially for the player meet event purposes)
All of this however would take me all night to type, so I’ll keep things simple by saying :-
Sorry to see you go, and my most sincere hope that you get a better job out of all of this.
Would love to have been able to have joined you on your leaving night out, but distance, work and kids would not allow. Will have to let Gangrel represent League of Heroes and League of Villains SG’s for the weekend, although he can drink for most of us anyway
Hope you have a good night out and all the best for the future.
Don’t really get on Heroes much these days, but if ever you are on villains and find yourself without a team we’d love to have you join us.